ive been sitting at the library for an hour already, trying to write anything about this topic. im having a lot of trouble focussing though, not because of my phone being a distraction (i bet thats what you would expect), but because of my untreated attention deficit.

that attention deficit, although unhelpful by nature, gets fuelled by my smart phone. in my case, instagram and twitter are the reason i cant get anything done. instead of bouncing around the house, only partially finishing tasks, i get to quietly lay in bed while my brain gets zapped by reels and racist tweets. you have to ask yourself: am i really living a life like this?

when i was younger, in the late 2000’s/early 2010’s, i would only have access to a (crappy) family pc. id get about two hours of time on there, right in between playing outside with my friends/school and dinner. in those few hours i would just go on youtube or talk to my friends on moviestarplanet. even when i got a smart phone, all i could do on there was text my friends (just to ask them to come play outside with me), or overfeed my Pou. even after that smart phone, i got an equally shitty HP laptop, so still all i could do watch youtube, pirated movies or chat with friends. the point is: although i had tech, it was not taking over my life. it was just a solution to being bored during a rainy day.

then, apps started changing. doomscrolling started to be a thing and phones became less crappy. every day i prayed that the time would come where id have enough money for an iphone, the most addictive of them all. so long, laggy androids that make you want to go outside instead; hello up-to-date piece of tech that will ruin me!

when i got my first real job, at a carwash, it was one of the few jobs for people my age where youd get pretty good tips. plus, i had enough things i wanted to sell. together, i racked up enough money to buy myself an iphone! while i was still saving up i would do extensive research on which one to buy. i liked how cute and small the 13 mini was, but everyone that reviewed it said the battery life is not good. they all said that “with heavy use” you wont even get through a day. foolishly, i thought to myself: thats fine! this is the perfect motivator to get my screentime to go down! wrong. i bought a powerbank. my phone dies a few hours into my day, as i doomscroll during my commute to school. my addiction is basically at an all time high.

i do feel quite bad about it; i notice how much time i waste on it, and how many other things i could do in that time. i notice how long it takes me to get out of bed because of it and how little i like to do aside from it. since everything outside costs money nowadays, id rather doomscroll inside for free. and that makes me so sad! theres plenty of other things i could do that are also free; my bass is just catching dust at this point, and i barely know how to play. my kindle is moving from bag to bag yet i never turn it on. i only make art for school purposes, not so much as a hobby anymore. ive got a crossword bundle ive only done three puzzles in!

im very aware of it all, but im also aware of how hard it is to stop. sure, for one day i can hide my phone from my sight and end go about my day. but the next im back on it. ive got no discipline, so even if i were to delete the culprits, i would find my way back to them. its not just the apps; its the form factor of the phone. the screen looks good, its quick, it fits in my hand nicely. everything about it makes me want to use every aspect of it.

now ive thought about going back to my first ever phone before: a nokia 6170 flip phone. sadly, my sim card isnt supported anymore. so i let that thought rest, until recently. i came across the dumbphone reddit, im not sure how or why. people on there are posting their “every day carry” (EDC) and thats what really inspired me. seeing pictures of peoples items, existing of: their dumbphone, a digicam, a notebook and any means of entertainment (book, game console), shows me how different things could be for me. ive got the digicam! ive got the notebooks! ive got entertainment! the problem is: i havent got a dumbphone.

now i know, ive already got a perfectly functional phone. its just riddled with disease; wether its got the social media apps or not, i still associate it with addiction and procrastination. but it would still be a waste to get rid of it. (i just wonder if it isnt a bigger waste to get rid of my lust for life). i tried those “minimalism” home screen launchers. they dont work for me. theyre subscription based, or they dont “have” the apps that i need, or they dont convince me so i end up deleting them. its not that easy to fix this problem!

so my mind goes back to actually purchasing a dumbphone. after all, my birthday is coming up which is a great reason to buy a thing you “dont really need”. so i look at my options. i started off with the Nokia 2620; a cute modern flip phone, that i could call and text from. sadly, my country doesnt just text: we use whatsapp. needing whatsapp on your phone means you need something android based. well, it doesnt, because kaiOS phones also run whatsapp, but i think theyre ugly, and besides, kaiOS is not very good. so, back to android. i know android on a phone means its probably more smart than it is dumb, but sadly i cant quit cold turkey. i dont think its about completely quitting anyway, i think its about seeing what modern phones can do for you, without killing you(r spirit).

i looked at keitais; japanese flip phones running on (older) android. the problem with these is mainly the trouble you go through to find one that works for you. youd have to get one through a japanese proxy, like buyee. but the ones on buyee that are affordable are either damaged, or they run android 5.1. now, it feels wrong to care about an OS version when im trying to get away from smart phones, but its the sad truth for me that i do need some of that functionality. getting android 5.1 on my device would (soon) mean that its obsolete. theres keitais that dont run on android 5.1 though, theres some that run android 8.1, and some that run android 10. those are harder to find, and when i do come across one, its a price im reluctant to pay. least but not least, theyre all secondhand phones, meaning i cant just send it back if i dont like it. id have to make a commitment with little room for trial.

then, i came across korean flip phones. i had already heard of phones such as LG lollipop and LG ice cream but i knew those are closer to a keitai in functionality. to my surprise, the samsung folder 2 exists. its got android 6 (sometimes 7), good connectivity in europe and its not ugly!!!!! theyre a bit pricy, since the only way to get one is either off of eBay or Bunjang Global. theyre not pricy as a phone, but pricy as a “semi smart old second hand android flip phone with touch screen that i dont really need”. but again, my birthday is coming up, i can make one silly purchase. the folder 2 gets the closest to my wants and needs; its cute, its got the capability to run modern apps that i cant miss and its a flip phone. sadly, its got some downsides: it can run social media apps. thats waving possible relapse in front of my face. but its not the biggest threat: android 6/7 are pretty janky, so i could believe that running social media on this thing wouldnt be half as addictive.

another korean phone i came across is the ALT MIVE style folder, a phone that looks just like the samsung folder 2, except its way newer. it runs android 12 GO and from what i can understand its got the same connectivity as the folder 2. its slightly bigger, making me feel like im going to look like an asshole using it, but if i was ready to buy the folder 2, i was ready to look like an asshole. its available for similar prices at the folder 2 on Bunjang Global. looking like an asshole isnt the biggest problem though, because android 12 GO would run social media way better, which is not what i want!

i have a hard time choosing what phone to get, since i dont have a clear view on what i really want out of this. this being a change in digital behaviour. i can set up an ideal situation and then try to strive for that, but maybe thats not the best way to go about it. trial and error is kind of expensive here, importing these phones without being able to return them is pricy. if i dont like the first one, do i dish out another 100 bucks for the next?

i believe i have to start by asking myself the question: what do i want out of the technology available to me? for starters, i really appreciate laptops. theyre hard to get addicted to, theyre extremely functional and only semi portable. its nice to schedule some “online time” for yourself using one, instead of always being available for everyone. this could be during school hours, a designated few hours at home or at the library, or just having your laptop on in the background while you do other stuff. websites are easy to use and less addictive, emails are less direct than texts and using messenger or whatsapp web on my macbook feels less rushed than on my phone. besides, after youre done (or when youve had enough), you can just shut it down. youre free! id like it for this easy-to-quit device to be my main means of communication.

thats hard to achieve, considering how everyones so used to being readily available at all times through a smartphone. youve got mail on there, youve got texting apps, the phone will do anything to notify you: buzzing, screen turning on, sound going off, some people even use the flash option (which, unless youre not deaf, what are you doing). with using your laptop as main “portal” for these things, you cant be bothered on the go.

another thing i can appreciate is my kindle: as much as i love a physical book, its nice to have a lightweight, skinny thing that goes into my pocket (!), that can give me any book i feel like reading. reading a book instead of doomscrolling during my daily commute or when im bored helps me not start dissociating at random times of day.

along with my kindle, i like my digital camera. its better quality than my iphone, and since its “such a task” to take it out of my bag it makes me think before i go to take a picture. this way i can avoid having a gallery full of junk i dont need.

ive also got my ipad, which funtions as a lightweight version of my laptop. plus, i do use procreate on it, so its more like a sketchbook with email.

seeing it this way: all id need from a phone is being able to call/text during emergencies. that, and a navigation system. and you could argue that being able to see the train schedules is also important on a phone these days. but these are all things you could do on a not-so-smart phone.

to summarise my ideal digital behaviour: my laptop is the powerhouse where it all goes down on my terms, my camera and my kindle entertain me on the road/when im bored, my ipad is my laptops skinnier stand in and my phone is just a helpful little sidekick.

i think to choose the right not-so-smart-phone id have to look at the available models and wether they can call, text, have whatsapp (which is just calling and texting in my country), have maps (or be able to tether wifi so i can use maps on another device) and be capable of running my train app, or at least their website. theres plenty of (flip)phones out there that can do these things: keitais such as kyocera 902/903kc, KY-42C, sharp aquos sh-02L, but also the samsung folder 2.

what i notice is that this “digital minimalism” of only asking the bare minimum of a phone, turns you into a general maximalist. where before you could just go out with your phone only (maybe a wallet as well, for those cards that arent programmed to go into your digital wallet), you now have a whole travel bag full of stuff. every thing your smartphone had “taken care of” is now dissected into a bunch of dumber stuff. a notebook instead of the notes app, a camera instead of the camera app, a kindle/book instead of social media, a game console/puzzlebook if youre into gaming on your phone…a fatter wallet than you had before.

some might say this is is why a smartphone is so useful, why get weighed down by so much stuff? well, i guess it comes down to self awareness. i feel more engaged with my self (?) if i have a dedicated separate “tool” for the things i do as a human. i believe that without purposeful intention, anything you do muddles into one big blob of “i live because im supposed to”. surely, this isnt true for everyone, im sure theres people that definitely feel as alive as i do with all my separate tools, by using just their smartphone for all of it. but some of you feel a discomfort deep inside, and as much as you dont want to admit that your elders are right: it might just be those damn phones.